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29 April 2012 @ 12:20 am
Oh Sehun  

Title: Oh Sehun
Author: juuten
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kai/Luhan, Sehun/Luhan (one-sided), Baekhyun/Sehun
Summary: Sehun knows what Jongin does to Luhan. He knows where the bruises are coming from.

A/N: I got drunk, and this happened.

You think you know someone; when in reality, you have no idea who that person really is.

I don't have many friends. I don't like talking to people. I don't like going to school.

You think you know something, but it's impossible to truly know whether something is true or false.

There's this person named Oh Sehun. He's a loser.

You think you know, and you think you've always known.

He's a weird guy - doesn't play sports, fails all his exams. Nobody talks to him. Probably because of his annoying lisp. Other than that, he's just a useless idiot. Honestly, he's such a fucking freak.

You're wrong.

Worst of all, I'm him. I am Oh Sehun, and I despise myself more than anyone else ever could.

Everyone hates me.

Mother hates me, because I'm worthless. She hits me everyday.

My brother hates me, because I'm disgusting. He spits at me and calls me anything but my own name.

I never met my dad, because he hates me. I know he does.

Before going to sleep at night, I wish that I'd wake up in a different place...a wonderful place where I have a family that loves me and friends that adore me. 

You're nothing but a fool.

I have one friend...one real friend. I've always wanted a friend. His name is Luhan, and he's an exchange student from China. He's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen...the first person I've talked to since seventh grade. He doesn't care about my lisp, and he brings me lunch everyday.

Mother never cooks for me, but she lets me eat whatever is almost spoiled in the fridge.

Everyone lies, and your life is a lie.

For my eighteenth birthday, mother finally lets me sleep on the couch. I used to sleep on the floor all the time, so that she can clean her dirty feet on my back before entering her room. Luhan gave me a warm, blue blanket as a gift. He doesn't know how much it means to me. I don't have to use my tattered clothes to protect myself from the cold anymore.

After Luhan became my friend, I met Kim Jongin. He's friendly and really nice but acts strange and doesn't talk to me unless Luhan is around. He doesn't like it, when people diss me while he's around. One time, a couple of jocks dumped red paint all over me during PE. Jongin rounded up his friends, Zitao and Minseok, and beat the crap out of those guys. Since then, people haven't been bullying me that often.

The world's like that - twisted and cruel. The only thing you can do is accept it and live the lies.

I'm in love with Luhan...

You can do nothing. You are nothing.

...and Jongin is too....

You are nothing.

I soon figure out that Jongin only became friends with me so he could impress Luhan. He thinks I'm Luhan's poor, little pet. I probably am, but I want to be his pet. I want him to love me. I want him to care for me. I need him.

Mother hits me again with a stick again today, because I accidentally broke one of her plates. I go to school the next day with a split lip and a swollen cheek. Luhan takes me to the rooftop and hugs me until I stop crying. He hates skipping classes but does so...for me...

Jongin finally stops being nice to me.

Time is not enough to heal wounds. Time doesn't stop to help you.

I love Luhan so much...

The past doesn't care about what it has done to you.

...but Jongin loves him too much....

The present doesn't want you here.

...and Luhan loves him back...

I'm nothing compared to Jongin.

The future doesn't need you.

They become a couple, and Jongin's attitude changes slowly. I know this, because day by day, Luhan's sleeves get longer.

Day by day, more bruises blossom on his arms and shoulders. He hides them from me, but I know they're there.

I know Jongin is hurting him. That bastard. But Luhan won't admit it. He insists that Jongin treats him well, and they love each other. He's always been like this, never telling me what's bothering him...what his problems were...

The three of us go to Jongin's house for a group study. Since Luhan is a year ahead of us, he helps us with math, while we try to help him with Korean Literature. He's too kind to accept our help and tells us we shouldn't worry about him.

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, but I don't re-enter Jongin's room immediately. I peak inside and see Jongin forcefully kissing Luhan.

Time doesn't give second chances.

When they part, Luhan looks like he's about to cry, and Jongin's grip on his nape tightens. "Didn't I tell you not to invite him over?" he snarls. "Do you want me to hurt you again?"

Luhan looks away. That's when I notice how tired and depressed he is. "I-I'm sorry, Jongin..."

I feel angry at both of them. I know Luhan can defend himself, but he doesn't. I'm miserable, because the love of my life is getting hurt, and I can do nothing about it. I want to help him, but I don't know how to. I'm a coward. I don't have the guts to fight Jongin...to fight for Luhan...

I can only watch as Jongin kisses his way down Luhan's neck and bites into his shoulder. Luhan winces but wraps his arms around his boyfriend. I can see his desperation, his silent pleas for forgiveness. I know he loves Jongin so much it's not right anymore.

Jongin doesn't deserve Luhan.

I leave without telling them.

You'll learn the truth soon enough. But then again, you might not.

I gather enough strength to confront Luhan about what I'd witnessed, but he is convinced that Jongin is just a bit possessive. They're doing fine as a couple. They're happy. He says all of this with a smile...with rope burns on his wrists, a poorly-hidden, foundation-covered bruise on his cheek and purple discolorations on the corners of his mouth.

I can see through the smile. I know he needs my help, even if he claims he doesn't need it.

There's nothing in this world you can prove.

For the first time in my life, I punch someone - Jongin. For the first time in my life, I shout at someone. For the first time in my life, I gain confidence in my words.

I demand that he stop hurting Luhan. I tell him that I'm taking Luhan away from him, because Luhan doesn't deserve what Jongin is putting him through.

What comes after life?

I expect him to retaliate, to beat me up for what I had said, but he does nothing. He only stares at me. We stay that way for a while, neither saying a word.

The next thing I know, I see tears...running down his face. I'm taken aback, astonished by how he's reacting. "Do you really think I like hurting him?"

He sighs, wiping away the tears stubbornly. "Do you know how hard it is? To hurt someone you love? You. You have no idea what I have to go through just so he won't stop loving me. But...you're right...this has to stop. I have to stop this."

I couldn't understand, and Jongin tells me that if I'd been a better friend, paid more attention...I'd know what was wrong with Luhan.

"Nothing's wrong with Luhan! It's you! You're the one who has a problem..."

He shakes his head. "Have you ever wondered why he always fails his math exams but does an amazing job explaining algebra problems to us?"

You think you know someone; when in reality, you have no idea who that person really is.

"Did you even know that his parents are threatening to take away his allowance, if his grades don't improve?"

You think you know something, but it's impossible to truly know whether something is true or false.

"Do you know that his Korean Literature teacher embarrasses him in front of the entire class every week?"

You think you know, and you think you've always known.

"Do you think about why he keeps rejecting offers to join the chess team even though he obviously loves the game?"

You're wrong.

"Did you ever wonder why Luhan would fall in love with an asshole like me and not for a nice, honest person like you?"

What comes after life?

Nowadays, Jongin kisses Luhan more tenderly. He looks at him more lovingly. Luhan is becoming more playful as the days go by. He acts like a little kid and pouts whenever he wants something but can't have it. He persuades Jongin to go on ice cream dates with him everyday. I'm happy to say that Jongin's ass is getting bigger from all the sugar.

The both of us accompany Luhan to his therapy sessions every weekend. He's definitely getting better, since his sleeves are getting shorter. Jongin makes a deal with him about restricting Luhan's needs to nothing that would cause bleeding or scarring, and that they gradually stop doing those things

I eventually learn to trust Jongin. After what he's been through, I know he's the only one that deserves Luhan's love.

Probably more suffering.

By summer, I start having my own therapy sessions. Mother kicks me out of the house, but really, I couldn't care less. It's about time I left.

If not, maybe you can be happy.

There's this boy named Oh Sehun. He has lots of friends, ones that are crazy and unbelievably ridiculous but can be called true friends. He whines to them about school work and plays computer games with them until dawn. He still has his lisp, but who the fuck cares? He's awesome at sports and just got accepted into the school's basketball team. He's got his own boyfriend now, Byun Baekhyun, who talks nonstop and is a demanding bitch but Sehun loves him that way. They take showers together and pretend they're shooting commercials in front of the mirror. He still spends his afternoons with Luhan and Jongin - the two most important people in his life - though. Nothing would ever change that. He's never been so happy in his entire life.

Best of all, I'm him. I am Oh Sehun, and I can confidently say that I'm ten times hotter than Kim Jongin.


A/N: So...yeah, confusing fic is confusing. I bow down to anyone who actually understood this crap I wrote. Whoever figured out what was wrong with Luhan and Sehun gets cookies! :D

Tags: ,
mayumi_sanmayumi_san on April 29th, 2012 04:28 am (UTC)
Words will not explain my feels. Dndjishdsidi /dies

<3 ily. :))
juutenjuuten on April 29th, 2012 11:38 am (UTC)
hihihi :> thank u thank u so much for reading this!!! :D ily2 :))
SchöneTier ♔re_lla on April 29th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)
ok .. i just run out of tissue paper because of you and this damn amazing yet deeply moved fiction ............
; _________________ ;

juutenjuuten on April 30th, 2012 02:10 am (UTC)
awwwww sorry about your tissues :(( were u really deeply moved by this? :D wow thank u so much! i really appreciate it :)

thank u thank u for reading!!!